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Although I didn't know Rebecca for very long, I have two memories stamped in my mind. The first was from last summer 2015. Our homeschool group ASA had the parents be in a goal setting class over the summer. Rebecca was in my group. For an hour a week I watched Rebecca's face online as we had our class. Rebecca spoke often of her desire to be a better mother, to raise her kids well, to know if she was good enough. There was such passion and love as she spoke of her children. I thought, "There's someone that is passionate about being the best mom she could be." I hoped to get to know her better. The second experience I had with Rebecca was while our boys were in Ecuador on the humanitarian trip. Their return planes were delayed so it was uncertain when they'd land in SLC. Rebecca and I texted throughout the night as we heard updates. When the time approached for the boys landing, I got a text from Rebecca apparently when she arrived at the airport saying "I must be the first one here. When are they coming?" Then a few minutes later another text, "They're here!!!!!!!!!" It made me smile to feel her excitement. As I've thought about the text conversation, I find it similar to Rebecca now. Again she's the first one there. Again she's waiting. What joy she will feel to see her family again, like she felt to see Tyler again. As my son Adam spoke of the great moments in Ecuador, Tyler was always apart of his stories. Adam spoke so highly of Tyler and was so glad Tyler went and that they could be roommates. As Adam spoke of Tyler, I thought of my summer class with Rebecca and thought how Rebecca was doing much better as a mother than she thought she was.
(email from Heather after the funeral) To Becca's Family, My heart is full of gratitude to your beautiful family - MaryAnn and Robert and children, and Andrew and children - for the Memorial Service yesterday. Often, funerals are thought of as something we do for the loved one we have lost, and those attending outside of the immediate family are supposed to be the support and comfort to those experiencing the greatest pain. In this case, however, your incredible faith, testimony and heavenly love were a profound blessing and comfort to me, and to all who attended. I am in awe, that in a time of such intense sorrow, pain and shock, you could find the faith and strength to lift all of us. I was so thankful to you for sharing some of the tender mercies you have experienced to help you find peace with the timing of Becca's death, which otherwise seems so cruel. To be able to see evidences of Heavenly Father's divine love and awareness brought peace to my heart that I had been struggling to find. And seeing the sorrow, but not despair, on your faces...I am in such awe of you all. Watching Annie's joy-filled countenance bursting with light and love as she sang at her own mother's funeral was one of the most sacred experiences I have ever had. After I could hardly sing the opening hymn myself out of sorrow for those precious children and what they have lost, I was so touched and amazed to see the faith of this sweet girl. I am so grateful to have known Becca. Her ability to combine determination and conviction with gentleness and serenity always amazed me. Her awareness of others and ability to show genuine love, her eternal perspective, and of course, her extraordinary mothering, will continue to bless my life and make me a better person. Thank you for finding a way, in your deepest sorrow and pain, to bring so much peace and comfort to others. And thank you for sharing your precious Becca with us during her short life, and even after her passing. I know that even with such inspiring faith as you have, there is a lot of pain and sorrow and difficulty ahead. My prayers, thoughts and heart will continue with you all. Much love and gratitude, Heather Byrd
i have wanted to put a memory here for a long time but it is hard to choose one, or say it the right way. But since it is one month since Becca passed away I wanted to write something. And since it is my daughters angel day tomorrow, this is what I have on my mind. I posted this earlier: 1 month--since becca passed away. 11 years--(tomorrow) since Kennedy passed away. All day I have been thinking about Becca and Kennedy. How can she really be gone 1 month already? How can she really be gone 11 years already? What is she doing? And what is she doing? And though the questions ended up being the same for some things the answers probably were different. But at the same time I am hopeful that, just maybe, they were the same. That maybe they could be together. Sometimes. I know there are numberless people that are not with us anymore, but really I feel that those two are both so close to me that of course they would get along perfectly. That they must be drawn together? And really, they have met before. One example is shown in the two pictures of each of our families a month before Kennedy was diagnosed with cancer, where we met at the zoo. We are all so young. So many of life's changes hasn't changed us yet. But this is what amazes me. What becca knew would help me, before. Before what? Before so much more life. Before your road gets diverted, and turned around, and blown up. What's even crazier is that she did things that even now I'm finding that I needed. After she is gone. How did she know what to do before? Because I feel like everything I do, is redo what I should have done. And not even right after the first time I realize it, but like the hundredth time I should have. In honoring Becca I have been remembering memories and realizing how they changed my life, so this memory is a collection of all the things Becca did for me, with me, after Kennedy became sick and then passed away. I won't list all of these things, because first, there are just too many things, second, they are very close to my heart, and third, there are other wonderful and amazing people that helped me immeasurably and I could never compare such outpourings of love. Please know I am still remembering them, too. Becca, I will try to remember, finally, to do things before...not after. Just as your family has adopted your words..."and so...I keep trying." In honoring Kennedy, I have realized through this last month as we come to 11 years, that even though my road was blown up, that eventually, finally, I can see that even though that road will never connect to this road, (I will never be the same person I was before), and where I landed might still be bumpy,...yet it is still there, and I'm still moving. Thank you Becca for continuing to change my life for the better. Miss and Love you, always.
Rebecca is one of the kindest people I know. She was a natural nurturer and she showed it through her actions again and again. Whenever there was a need, she was there to help no matter what. (Thank you, thank you, Rebecca, for rescuing me from that huge black widow!) She had the unique ability of perceiving the true needs of others and knowing how best to meet those needs in her own gentle, sincere way. One of my favorite memories of Rebecca was when she shared with me the story of how she and Andrew met. I can still see her shy smile as she recalled the events. The other thoughts I have of Rebecca revolve around her being a mother. There is no doubt that she absolutely loved being a mom to Tyler, Robbie, Annie, Luke and Emma! I will always miss you, my dear friend! You inspired and helped me in countless ways. I can truly say that my life has been made better because Rebecca was my friend. Love you!
In my memory, Rebecca always has a smile. She radiates light and happiness. I loved watching her with her family in church. It was obvious by the way she held, cuddled and kissed her babies that they were loved and appreciated. I could tell she was so proud of her children! And I loved the admiring way she looked up at her husband. Doing even the smallest thing for Rebecca elicited appreciation --she expressed gratitude for any little kindness she received. She always greeted me with a smile and a kind word.
I met Becca in September, 1988. She was a third grade student at Travilah Elementary, and I was beginning my internship as principal. Academically, Becca excelled, and she demonstrated outstanding character as an individual and in her interactions with others. When her mom told me that Becca had become a teacher, I secretly hoped that she would come back to Travilah. Through Mary Ann's yearly Christmas letters, I was able to see Becca's family grow, and I marveled at all that she was accomplishing. It was a joy and a privilege to know Becca; and I will remember her. My sincere and heartfelt condolences to the entire Pincock and Parsons family.