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i have wanted to put a memory here for a long time but it is hard to choose one, or say it the right way. But since it is one month since Becca passed away I wanted to write something. And since it is my daughters angel day tomorrow, this is what I have on my mind. I posted this earlier: 1 month--since becca passed away. 11 years--(tomorrow) since Kennedy passed away. All day I have been thinking about Becca and Kennedy. How can she really be gone 1 month already? How can she really be gone 11 years already? What is she doing? And what is she doing? And though the questions ended up being the same for some things the answers probably were different. But at the same time I am hopeful that, just maybe, they were the same. That maybe they could be together. Sometimes. I know there are numberless people that are not with us anymore, but really I feel that those two are both so close to me that of course they would get along perfectly. That they must be drawn together? And really, they have met before. One example is shown in the two pictures of each of our families a month before Kennedy was diagnosed with cancer, where we met at the zoo. We are all so young. So many of life's changes hasn't changed us yet. But this is what amazes me. What becca knew would help me, before. Before what? Before so much more life. Before your road gets diverted, and turned around, and blown up. What's even crazier is that she did things that even now I'm finding that I needed. After she is gone. How did she know what to do before? Because I feel like everything I do, is redo what I should have done. And not even right after the first time I realize it, but like the hundredth time I should have. In honoring Becca I have been remembering memories and realizing how they changed my life, so this memory is a collection of all the things Becca did for me, with me, after Kennedy became sick and then passed away. I won't list all of these things, because first, there are just too many things, second, they are very close to my heart, and third, there are other wonderful and amazing people that helped me immeasurably and I could never compare such outpourings of love. Please know I am still remembering them, too. Becca, I will try to remember, finally, to do things before...not after. Just as your family has adopted your words..."and so...I keep trying." In honoring Kennedy, I have realized through this last month as we come to 11 years, that even though my road was blown up, that eventually, finally, I can see that even though that road will never connect to this road, (I will never be the same person I was before), and where I landed might still be bumpy,...yet it is still there, and I'm still moving. Thank you Becca for continuing to change my life for the better. Miss and Love you, always.